I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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