I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
