i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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