I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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