Pants 0. Shit 1.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
