I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
