whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
