Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
