youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
