the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
