I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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