Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
