I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
