I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
