maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
