It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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