PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
