Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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