We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
