I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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