my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
