I heard we made out
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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