Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
