using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
