I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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