wat bout pragnant strippers??
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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