Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
