There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
