did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
