Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
