Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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