I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We're too hungover to prance.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
