You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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