How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
