She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Can I color on your dick again?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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