I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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