Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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