I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
