It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
being pregnant is like rehab
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
