i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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