I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
