I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
