This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Fuck appropriateness.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
