dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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