I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
