Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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