Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
