I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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