I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
