im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
