I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
