If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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