You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
