I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
