I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
