so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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