oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
